You did not know I felt that? You did not know that you fucking broke me? You thought we agreed? You never know what to do. You never understand anything.
I dont believe a single word youre saying. I know, that you read my blog. And I know, that you know how I was feeling. Wait, let me explain. You commented on my blog entry where I talk to you.
I cannot say how much I dont like you right now. The thing is, I still care about you. But it fucking hurts. When you broke up with me, it felt like you would rip my heart out and smash it into pieces. And then,you just gave it back like nothing ever happend. And now, when you text me, snap me or tag me every little fucking shitty piece hurts.
I still cant believe that you said, that you dont know that I feel that way. Do you think it was easy for me? It still isnt. But you dont care. “I did what I do the best, pushing people away, very far, very fast. Shutting off all communication entirely and distracting myself, back to the way I’ve always been. ” (Quote, you on 03.01.2017). Yes. You did that. And if I may tell you something. I loved you with my whole heart. I really did. But, clearly you didnt want to be loved like that. You didnt even give “us” the chance to try this LDR shit out. I mean, you broke up with me a month after I visit you for 2 weeks. Didnt/dont you realise how that hurt me? Well, obviously you didnt.
I wanted us to have a future. I did not know how this would work out. But I wanted to give this whole thing atry. It was new for mw. For you. For both of us. But you gave up. “Please believe me when I say that we didn’t work because it was me who was a chicken, not distance or you.” (Quote, you again, on the same day as before.)
Yes, I totally agree. YOU were the chicken. YOU did not give “us” the chance to try. YOU broke up. YOU broke me. And the worst part, YOU dont even know. Youre horible. You could try and understand my situation, but you dont even dare to try.