How I lost my best friend

„How I lost my best friend “. That’s what I want to write today. I mean, I didn’t lose my best friend. But it doesn’t feel right. Our paths face different directions. That’s what it is. She lives at home in Germany and I live at home in Austria. We basically lived together for the last 5 years, but now a new chapter of our lives began. Simple as that.

Today I texted her. Invited her to my birthday. That was the beginning of our very short conversation. Well, I have to say, I didn’t text much because I was at work. She told me, that she has a new boyfriend. She never mentioned it before. It feels so weird to me. Half year ago, we told each other everything. Even the smallest detail of our life. Shared really everything. And now, kind of nothing. Not even the “important” things like love.

I really feel stupid about this situation. I mean I never had like a best friend before. I was a lonely wolf. In every school. I knew that I had friends, but not something/someone like a “best friend”. I never had. I had several good friends, but never a best friend. That’s my opinion and my feeling about my friendships. I don’t know how the others saw that but that how I think/thought about that. Maybe that’s why I am feeling so sad about that. I finally found someone who I spent my daily life with. Who loved me, who could be honest with me. Who accepted me. And now, it feels like we are just friends. Oh god, that sounds like a stupid and sad love story who ends. Well, it kind of is.

Cutie, if you’re reading this. I miss you, Idiot. I hope you can arrange to come to my birthday. I would love to see you again. So does my family and Sarah. And I am sorry that I am writing this stuff down and not saying this to your face. But, you know me. Meh. In case youre wondering whats new: I have a new room, new furniture, 2/3 geese are alive, I kinda fell in love, I got work, I will get a car. That’s what you need to know. Yeah, fun right? And hey, I continued writing. And I am thinking about writing a book. Or well, a story, whatever.

Yeah, what I wanted to say. It’s hard to lose a friend, even tho you’re not really losing. But you’re not that close anymore, and I think that sucks even more. I cannot wait for the day that one of us has to take the other one on a weekend trip (you remember, our bet in my book?) I cannot wait. I miss you.


24.10.2016, binabina


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