I hate it. That silence. That emptiness. That „nothing“. My brain, my body, even my soul and heart feel so empty, so lost, so broken. I am surrounded by my family 24/7 but I feel lonely, lost.

I cannot say that I am happy, but I don’t know what to change to be happy again. And that’s the most annoying thing ever. At the moment, I just want to escape life, to take a break. A break from my current situation. A break from doing nothing. Sitting at home, help mum and dad. I want to learn something. I want to do shit. But I fucked it up.

I am trying to concentrate for the last few days, I am trying to write. I want to write, but my head was empty. No particular thoughts on no particular topics. Just some random shit. I should write something for church, deadline is tomorrow, I tried to focus for the last week. Nothing. I can’t think about any good stuff. We got a topic and I don’t know what to write about. It’s so easy that it’s so hard.

I am sitting here, staring at this paper. It’s empty. I cannot think of anything to write down. That emptiness is killing me. There is nothing. Nothing, except the lyrics to the music in the background.


27.08.2016, binabina


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